The new puppy we have has kennel cough so I forgot to write on my blog. She visited the vet today and got some antibiotics, hopefully she’ll be feeling better in the next few days. I need to get back to her but didn’t want to miss another day.
I can’t believe that I forgot to hit publish. Geez another day of missed blog….
My mood has been great except for feeling worried for the new fur baby.
I go and see my shrink on Tuesday so hopefully I’ll know more about the whole Rexulti situation. I really hope the insurance company covers it, we can’t afford 900.00 a month. Things are finally starting to swing into the positivity side, I consider ok a good mood too because it’s not negative.
I’ll be better about the blog tomorrow. sigh.
I hate it when I cycle down to depression. It’s not fair I don’t get the hypo mania anymore. I don’t get the mania mania either, which is a good thing. Feels like I’m not bipolar but just depressed now. I wonder if that can happen. I’ll have to talk to my shrink about it, but I don’t see her for another two weeks.
My husband thinks he has a way to get my rexulti approved, apparently some of the meds I have taken weren’t listed and also you have to show that the rexulti has been taken for a while and is working. It has been I know I’m going to be having ups and downs but I do want more ups then downs and it seemed like it was going that way. I hate the depression it makes me feel quite hopeless. I’m going to keep to my new years resolutions regardless though. I can’t let Dani down.
I can’t let myself down either. I got to keep trucking on.
Daily bog written.
So today I talked to my shrink and the insurance company denied my rexulti so we need to press forward and try to get it handled. I hope they do since the med actually helps! I am almost out of pills so my shrink gave me some samples and then I went out to lunch with hubby. I ate a good lowish carb meal and tried to interact somewhat with the waitress. Pretty good since I am feeling like crap and didn’t even want to go out. When hubby asked me originally I said no but then I remembered that I want to do the things Dani would have challenged me to do if she were still alive.
That’s about it for today!
The new insurance company is giving us a hassle about the Rexulti I take and to pay for it out of pocket would be 900 dollars a month. This mixture of meds that my doc has me on is finally working, I don’t want to have to change it. I’m so pissed off right now. I’m down to 3 pills and I’m waiting for my shrink to get back to me about samples or getting the meds approved. I hate waiting and especially when things are this close to being out. I don’t know what the withdrawal symptoms will be but I know just going off a med it a bad idea. We’ve all done it.
Other than that stress my mood is pretty good. I haven’t been smoking any weed and just living each day. I haven’t quit I just wanted to make sure that I am getting the most of of my medications. In Feb I’ll start smoking again and see if that effects how my mood is. If it turns out to be a bad thing I’ll just quit. I mean I managed to make it through the holidays without weed or alcohol so I imagine I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Though there is nothing like smoking some weed putting on the headphones and just chilling. I tried it without the weed and it was still good but I enjoy it more with.
Anyhow that’s it for today!
Well now it’s my second day of writing on my blog again. Finding stuff to talk about might be difficult but I am going to try.
My mood has improved over the last while. I think the mixture the doctor gave me is finally working. Though my insurance company is giving me grief about the rexulti so it should be interesting how I’m going to be continuing to take it, I hate to play full price or have to depend on samples. I hate it when things are out of my hands. I’ll know in the next few days.
Otherwise I’m excited to see what this year brings. Now if it wasn’t so damned cold. I don’t think I could get my hubby to go out let alone go out myself as I don’t have a winter jacket. Time to shop on amazon and get a coat I guess.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
I still haven’t painted. I got all the things I need, I have instructional videos. Bob Ross has so many I can follow along with I’m just not motivated to do it and I’m also afraid of doing it. Pretty dumb huh? Oh well.
I don’t know why I decided to write today but I thought that I ought to check in and give a wassup. 😛
I haven’t been in the best of moods. Usually I have day after day of depression. Right now I am on 3mg of Rexulti and 300mg of Wellbutrin for my depression. I think I need something else in there but I’ll work that out on my next shrinks appt.
Oh and I dyed my hair dark pink. So that’s fun.
Anyhoo going to go now..
Today at 11:18am I have already had some accomplishments. I have taken the garbage and recycling out and walked both dogs separately to the mailbox! Yep doesn’t sound like much but for someone whose house needs a full cleaning it’s a head start and it’s something I can do. I plan to also do the two loads of laundry I have had sitting in the laundry room since my mom’s visit. (That’s what happens when you own too many clothes).
I decided I would also post on my blog. So here I am! Hi 🙂
My depression must be improving without me knowing it though because the wellbutrin seems to be doing some motivating. The increase of the rexulti seems to be helping too. Though I admit the last two days I napped in the afternoon just to pass time, I was so lonely. I don’t know how to interact with people anymore. I used to play WoW and be in a guild and talk with a lot of people. I need to start doing that again just to be a part of something and to interact with people again.
I’ll figure it out I guess.
I miss my sister in law. She is dating a really nice person right now and I haven’t had a chance to see her very much. Hopefully as they get more serious that will change though and there will be a little wiggle room for me. We’ll see.
Yesterday I had a wonderful day. I was happy! Yep that’s right HAPPY!. I forgot what that felt like.
Today I had a hard time getting out of bed though. I lay there for 3 hours just riddled with anxiety over nothing.
I think this new med is helping. I think I’m gonna need more meds. I don’t think the rexulti is going to do it all on it’s own. They even advertise it as something to help with antidepressants. So I wonder what my shrink will try to do.
Still feeling hopeful though.
So today I went to my shrinks and she changed my meds. I am going off the latuda, down to 40 mgs for four days, than 20 mgs for four days. Than I start taking rexulti. I don’t know if it is going to do any better and I’m super nervous, changing meds is always very scary .
I trust her though. So it’s going to be ok.