house

So Much, So Little

We went into the house tonight and the entire outer frame was done, you could see where everything is going to go. I took tons of pictures, it’s really exciting seeing how close the house is. I mean it still won’t be ready until February. Actually having the house actually seeing some action makes it more bearable.

Today my cold also felt a little better. I got some napping done. Other than that I got nothing done. I mean there isn’t much for me to do anyhow. Yet doing nothing makes me feel guilty.

I can’t paint in the dining room again until after thanksgiving and probably Christmas. It sucks. Jim says we can set something up in the bedroom for me. I hope so, not being able to paint for 2 months will suck.

Emotionally I’ve been stable. That’s a positive at least!

House stuff

I’m still sick off my butt so tonight you can see some pictures of the amount of work that has been done this week on my house. Enjoy!

Big Ass Hole

that’s not like someone is a big asshole, not a typo. There is a big ass hole dug in the front of our new yard and fence posts in the back, which means we wont have to pay for about 500 dollars worth of a 7k-8k we’ll have to pay for a fence. Surrounding 3/4 of an acre aint cheap.

I’d love to know what the hole in the front yard is there for. We couldnt get any answers and last night having had the concrete put down, I am just looking forward to the framing to go up.

I woke up sad today, dunno why and I’ve been a little lax on the exercising, I am just not feeling very motivated. Also buying 24 of those bars was a mistake, I ate 3 of them today. I did buy them before deciding to diet but having them here makes it so hard. I also dont want to share them with anyone. I’m a little piggy *oink, oink*

Not happy with myself today at all.

Ce-ment Pond

I was thrilled when we went out to visit the foundation today. They had our porch, garage and basement were all poured and the men were making it all smooth and cool.

Mom seems insecure about buying her home now. It makes me wonder if she is going to go through with her. I honestly worry that maybe our wanting her there has pushed her into doing something she isnt ready for.

Hubby is going to talk to her to make sure she doesnt lose too much money if she feels she would rather stay here in the house on the lake.

I just want her to be happy and we live close enough that holidays and visits arent a big deal.

I am happy right now. I cheated a little on my diet today but I got a candy bar that is only available in Canada and I am going to enjoy it! Plus I’ve lost 2.6 pounds. Go me!

Girl Next Door

So Mom got the lot next door. What seemed was impossible might actually be possible. I’m trying to keep a positive outlook.

I didnt hasve therapy appts today but I ended up spending our entire day out of the house. Eating out but keeping on diet. So proud of myself, it’s so hard.

Shopping at Bath and Body, I’m such a girly girl. I got a full collection of Japanese Cherry Blossom which is my favorite tree. I would love to grow one!

Mom signed the papers to hold the lot next to our and now she has to put her house up for sale. It will be complicated but it will be wonderful once we move into our own home and mom moves in next door.

I’m mostly tired and cant think of much to write about.  Tomorrow will be better. I plan on painting and might have something to post.

I Hate Weekdays

When Monday comes around I get lonely, I get sad. This happens almost every week without fail. If hubby is home then it doesn’t. It’s pretty simple.

The fact that it’s been raining since last night doesn’t help. I have yet to buy a UV lamp and there hasn’t really been any sun. Yet I walked outside forgetting that it was a gov’t holiday enjoying the fresh crisp air and smell of decaying vegetation. I found something positive in a negative.

My mother in law didn’t get her loan approval so she wont be moving next door. I have to admit I am pretty sad about it. A legitimate reason to be sad. I can’t think of a way for it to work now. She could sell her house first but then she needs somewhere to live until the new one is built. I can’t take the cats and bird in. She has no where for them to go. Plus another 7 months of not being alone with my husband.

Some things are just not meant to happen I guess.

I’m going to try to not let it get me down. However it is during the week and keeping myself up is already hard.

I must keep my eye on the positives.

The positives are that my house building is moving forward. My marriage is strong and healthy. My mental health is getting better. I am looking toward the future instead of dreading it.

I’m alive, I’m healthy and can healthier. Life is good, even if my moods are the top most, my life can still be good.

Back To Normal

Tomorrow FIL leave and I work a little and it wil be so quiet..

Quiet never thought I would love it, but I can’t wait to have some time to myself. I think I am growing as a person.

Walked again tonight in my in the future neighborhood. Hate waiting for things to happen but someone has moved into the first home in the neighborhood. I’m excited for them.

I’m gonna become better physically to work with my maturing emotionally. It can get better. All of it.

Today Was Good

I am still recovering but today was pretty good.

We went out to the lot which is always awesome and wandered around one of the houses that is the same model of ours but is further along in the build.

Went out to lunch with MIL and we did a little shopping. I needed some stationary as I’ve decided to write my grandparents a letter. I want to communicate with them while they are still alive. I miss them and went them to know it.

I cooked dinner for the entire family, SIL, FIL and MIL plus hubby and everyone ate a lot and complimented it. It was just tacos but it made me feel good non-the-less.

Lastly we all watch the newest X-Men movie together which was nice as my MIL has surround sound. We shut down all the lights and it felt like we were enjoying it in a theatre. I enjoyed it as well as the ambience.

so no real complaint today except for the fact I have to do laundry and I am a little hypos manic. I am at least getting things done!

As Promised Hole Pics

I’m still feeling like crap but you can see what is happening at the lot. Wanted to share.

I’m slightly manic so I am talking a mile a minute even though I feel like ca-ca/

Such is life.

Home Pieces

Today was eventful. I woke up at 6:00am for some freeking reason and needless to say I was stressed. One of my dogs threw up like a ton of food which made me gag the entire time cleaning up and then I went back to bed after doing some other cleaning around here.

When I went to sleep I had nightmares about someone who really abused me in many ways for many years, when I dream of him I usually am super stressed. I think everyone has one of those dreams ya know? It did help me figure out a lot of stuff.

I realized that while I am stressed about good stuff, I am also stressed about bad stuff. My BFF is ill. my daughter is practically living on the streets and jobless and my sister in law is going through a divorce. I’m not sure I’m coming to terms with everything but realizing they are there helps I suppose.

I nt to the therapist and shrinks and had a good session, found out that my paper work is getting sent out to the ECT place the beginning of next week, which is awesome! I also picked out all the stuff for my house, even the grout, seriously never even thought about that before.

Tonight something weird happened. I was doing something and all of a sudden my left nipple started hurting, like it’s still aching. I haven’t had a mammogram in three years so I suppose it is time for me to go and get it done. I will need to get a cab, I have no one to take me to these damn appts.

I’m not gonna stress it is likely nothing, right? I’m not really asking but I will work it out. Anyhow, ya.