We went and picked our dogs up they had been groomed and our little Charlie didn’t even look like himself. So skinny without all his fluffy puffy fur.. Ren looks adorable as usual like a little ewok!
I was so relaxed the second we walked in the door and I got sleep and well went to sleep.. Sleep so wonderful!!!! How I have missed thee.
I spilt Dr. Pepper all over my keyboard and now am having to use an ergonomic(sp?) keyboard which I frankly detest it makes my hands ache..
I start taking two 300mg tomorrow, I am really nervous. So far it has made everything taste like hell.. Seriously gross, I may just end up losing weight which I can definitely afford to do..
Gonna keep this short tonight, still pretty tired and I just want to chill.. Thanks for the support during my Vegas Vacation, it really means a lot.
I woke up (this is s a loose term) this morning to the feel of complete exhaustion both mentally and physically. I have pushed myself so hard the last few days that I have come to my end. I am gonna stay in the room the rest of the day. I’m not having fun and I am tired of hearing and smelling people. Yup smelling it’s gotten so crowded you can smell all the smokers, the people who put on way to much cologne or perfume and armpits.. blech.. just nasty.
Last night the hotel exploded with people coming in for Easter Weekend, even at 1am there were tons of people packed all around me.
Hubby is mad at me because I came to visit him at the Pai Gow Table, he didn’t seem to be happy I was there so I left and came back to the room. Then I get back here and he’s like come back, but it was really hard for me to be there the first time. Even coming up to the room the floor kind of moved under my feet I thought I was going to keel over.. So tired
Tomorrow I start on 2 300mgs of Lithium, I’m a little scared but I have to do it. Then I have my blood test on Thursday. Hopefully everything works out ok.
I’m gonna sign off since my mom in law is here and when I write tomorrow it will be on my computer instead of my laptop. Thanks for reading.
I did have a minor breakdown this morning, today might get better.. hehe
I am tired, I managed to dose off about 3 times today only to be awoken rudely by the phone, pissed me off, but I went out played the slots and went to my mom in laws wedding, It made hubby and me decide that in 3 years we will do a re-commitment ceremony where I will wear an actual wedding dress and have the people I love there.. It was fun dressing up tonight for the wedding. I had to take a cab though which I didn’t like at all! However I am finding that if I just push myself I can do a lot of things, I am so tired though and my hands are shaking I am not sure if it is because of the lithium or the fact that I forgot my lamictal, but at least that is over with, the withdrawal isn’t too too bad I suppose. I cant wait to get home and really really write a blog, this laptop is uncomfortable and awkward… I cant wait to see my puppies, I miss then so much. Vegas would be more fun if we were able to go to shows, maybe next time. I went out of the room myself for about 30 mins while hubby still slept and won 60 bucks on the slots.. so it was a win win.. hehe
I felt that today was a really big accomplishment for me. I slept so horribly and woke up feeling poorly with some tummy issues. I was going to crawl back into bed and just give up. Instead I went out and ate at a restaurant, played some slot machines and walked probably another mile or so.
Got to see my mom in law and gave her the card telling her we were coming back to Omaha and she honestly screamed she was so excited. Makes a person feel loved. I’m tired and feel a little like puking but it was a good day all in all.
My hands were shaking pretty bad this morning I am assuming that it is because of the lamictal being gone.. I imagine tomorrow might be worse.
One last thing the damn Lithium makes everything taste like ass. It’s kind of pissing me off.
It was a lovely drive me and hubby sat and talked a little and listened to a wide variety of music. When he was busy driving I would just stare at his face, the way it’s changed. How wonderfully handsome I still think he is 13 years later and how lucky I am to have him. When we got here we took a walk towards the strip, neither of us are in that great of shape so we got about a mile and a half and then turned back to get some dinner! So far I am having a great time. There is a gigantic bathtub here, honestly delightful and dinner was marvelous. My mood has been mostly up today. I’ve had several self hate minutes but I talked to hubby about it and it helped a lot. Wish you were here!
I’m happy, thrilled, loving life.. I know it’s not real but that doesn’t mean I am not going to enjoy it. I am excited about the new regimen though. I could do without the head/body aches from going off the lamictal though.
I worry about taking new drugs, I always have this fear of having an allergic reaction, I mean we are literally a five minute walk to the emergency room so I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
I have been a little itchy but I was itchy before I started taking medication. Honestly the sun makes my skin itch and it was hot, made me sweat.. I have to remind myself of these things otherwise I might stop taking the one thing that might make a difference in my future.
The new shrink called today to tell me my blood tests were fine and ask how I was doing and also to ask permission to talk to my old one. I told it was fine but that I was never honest with her about how crappy I was feeling. I don’t know why. I just happen to usually be in mid upswing when I saw her and didn’t think about talking about the way things were before that. Plus she was always so pleased to think I was doing well.
3 days until we leave for Vegas and honestly I am so excited. We may hardly leave the room but being in a clean place, no dogs, and having food delivered at any hour.. who wouldn’t want that. I’ll have to go to mom in law’s wedding but that shouldn’t take too long and if I am lucky I will get enough courage to at least go play the slots for a couple hours..
Slots are probably not the best thing for me to do but it is less addictive for me then shopping..
I bought a coloring book and a wedding card online and it gave me a little thrill which honestly is just ridiculous don’t ya think’?