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Feeling Even Better.. Achooooo

Another day with no lithium and my flu is feeling better. The constant need to pee is almost gone and I sorta slept last night.

Tonight hubby went out to dinner with the people from work, it happens every 3 months or so and usually I can handle it ok. Tonight though he was at this incredible restaurant on the ocean and it looked so romantic. (He was taking pictures) it started setting off my insecurities. I’m going to voice them here because I know they are ridicuous but need to get them off my chest.

1) He is ‘seeing’ someone from work. This person lives in Omaha so that is why he even brought up us moving back there.

2) While saying that the move would be good for me, we will be spending less time to together. I worry he will be more out of touch.

3)I think he’s a god so everyone else will right?

honestly these things seem even more stupid typed out. It’s the way my brain works though. I think that if I get some therapy I will learn to realize that he loves me and that’s why he is nice to me not because he is guilty of some crime.

Super Sick, Super Happy

My flu has gotten worse of all damn things, I’m giving up the lithium until this thing is gone. Haven’t had a bug like this in years. It’s causing me a lot of problems without having to worry about driing a ton of water then peeing constantly so I can sleep/rest to get well. I just feel that bad.

in good news though we found out we get to move to Omaha at the end of June so we will be back in time for dah dah dah…. Fourth of July! The gathering of people we know combined with good food and fireworks!!! Yayyyyyyy

Can you tell I’m excited? As soon as hubby told me I ordered boxes and bubble wrap and started gathering things very slowly.. Basically I got two loads of laundry done then fell asleep watching Frozen cause it exhausted the hell out of me, but I am thrilled.

I’m sure mom in law will be even more thrilled. When she read the card she literally screamed. Wish I had thought to record that. Anyhow that was my days, toodles

Just A Short Post

I am still feeling pretty crappy so I am just gonna post some pictures from Vegas and one of my puppies.. They are all taken with the cell so not great quality but not bad either.005004009008

 

Ugh I Feel Like Dying

I woke up with a migraine from hell and have just been slowly going downhill. I have the flu I think.. I called the shrink about it since I just increased my dosage Saturday and I have this stupid flu, with fever and stomach pain and migraine and sniffles and coughing.. ugh.. I’ll hear back tomorrow if I need to worry… right now I am gonna go to sleep.

Sorry for the short post.

So Glad to Be Home!!

We went and picked our dogs up they had been groomed and our little Charlie didn’t even look like himself. So skinny without all his fluffy puffy fur.. Ren looks adorable as usual like a little ewok!

I was so relaxed the second we walked in the door and I got sleep and well went to sleep.. Sleep so wonderful!!!! How I have missed thee.

I spilt Dr. Pepper all over my keyboard and now am having to use an ergonomic(sp?) keyboard which I frankly detest it makes my hands ache..

I start taking two 300mg tomorrow, I am really nervous. So far it has made everything taste like hell.. Seriously gross, I may just end up losing weight which I can definitely afford to do..

Gonna keep this short tonight, still pretty tired and I just want to chill.. Thanks for the support during my Vegas Vacation, it really means a lot.

Okay I’m Officially Tired Of Vegas

I woke up (this is s a loose term) this morning to the feel of complete exhaustion both mentally and physically. I have pushed myself so hard the last few days that I have come to my end. I am gonna stay in the room the rest of the day. I’m not having fun and I am tired of hearing and smelling people. Yup smelling it’s gotten so crowded you can smell all the smokers, the people who put on way to much cologne or perfume and armpits.. blech.. just nasty.

Last night the hotel exploded with people coming in for Easter Weekend, even at 1am there were tons of people packed all around me.

Hubby is mad at me because I came to visit him at the Pai Gow Table, he didn’t seem to be happy I was there so I left and came back to the room. Then I get back here and he’s like come back, but it was really hard for me to be there the first time. Even coming up to the room the floor kind of moved under my feet I thought I was going to keel over.. So tired

Tomorrow I start on 2 300mgs of Lithium, I’m a little scared but I have to do it. Then I have my blood test on Thursday.  Hopefully everything works out ok.

I’m gonna sign off since my mom in law is here and when I write tomorrow it will be on my computer instead of my laptop. Thanks for reading.

I did have a minor breakdown this morning, today might get better.. hehe

Cutely Vicious

I thought this was a wonderful look at how people may perceive mental illness with it becoming more common

Cravings

We all have things we crave, foods, habits, attention from people etc..

I have probably 2 of the most common cravings and that is for something sweet and something salty. I always seem to need both at the same time and I have yet to find the perfect blissful combo to quickly satisfy my needs.

Eating things is just not that enjoyable for me anyhow but I get those cravings and suddenly I have inhaled whatever it is within minutes. You would think I was eating to keep someone from stealing my food. No idea where this comes from.

Today I just want sugar, but I am working really hard to give it up. I have the worst headache though and I feel like it will get rid of it but then I will be fighting it again in a few days.. Actually this is turning into a migraine.. gonna have to cut the blog short.. ouchies

A Painting

self     A New Painting I Did

ocassionally I smile

Image

Today has been a better day then the last few weeks, I am not feeling hopeless or sad, in fact I might even say I feel hopeful. I decided to approach my shrink about the ECT on my appointment and I hope she will go for it. At this point it seems like the best option for me. If not I will just find someone who is willing to do it.

Thank you whoever reads this, it keeps me accountable and makes me want to post each day. That also helps me keep track of my moods. I’ll post more on ECT and maybe some links tomorrow but today I am going out into the sun and enjoy what is left of the afternoon! 🙂