Here are some pictures of what i think are some beautiful area’s near us, Schramm Park and Platte River. I don’t feel much like writing today. Still wondering if it is the Lithium, I’ll give it a bit to adjust
I am annoyed. No I’m beyond annoyed. Everything is ticking me off and I have no patience. I wanted to throw my laptop across the room because it isn’t loading properly. People are saying stupid ass shit, which makes me want to say mean ass shit. Grrrr.
I had a pleasant day earlier, went out grocery shopping and had lunch at olive garden. Then I bought a new cute pink purse and wallet. After that it all went to shit. Plus I think I am getting another head cold. So I don’t know what is setting me off.. Just general annoyance, lithium or who fricken knows.
Anyhow, can’t make a decision after one day whether lithium is for me, I just know I have to be careful because I am sensitive to medications..
Wish me luck I need it.
I have no idea how I feel. I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not happy, I’m not joy filled. I’m just in the middle of the middle.
Nothing happened today which is good, because if nothing happens, nothing bad happened.
I think I am a little frustrated and a little stressed because of the house.
I start the Lithium tonight, I am a little nervous but honestly I need to stop the spinning. Ok I am more than nervous I think I am terrified to try adding another medication in when honestly the last week has been pretty damned good.
New stuff always makes me fearful. I’ve been having a few more anxiety attacks lately then I was having before. I know it will pass and I have to just fight through it.
Fight, breathe, fight, breathe, fight…I can do it.
Well I have some great news! We got the closing date on the house. So Feb 26th I probably won’t be posting that day or the next, but moving into a house and not having internet is a really good reason to not post. 😀 I’m absolutely thrilled that there is an end date finally.
I went to my shrink and we talked about trying topomax but because I am sensitive to medications she checked out interactions and apparently it interacts with two of the medications I am taking. So we talked about depakote, lamictal and lithium. I decided to try the lithium again. Depakote causes weight gain and I had a horrible time withdrawing from lamictal so this is where it stands.
Lithium worries me, but honestly I’m at a point where if I can stop the mood swings I am going to give it a try again. I was so depressed on it before I wouldn’t have been able to tell if it was working or not.
I’ll do the research I need to so I don’t mess it up and try not to stress about it.
Does anyone remember what some of the lithium interactions with regular meds are? thanks!
I don’t know that this would have been as easy as it has been if we were in our house and I was alone. This has been pretty good though. I haven’t had a ton of anger or sadness about hubby being away and I’ve been able to sleep. All things that have been hard on me in the past. I don’t know maybe it is the meds working too. I seem to be on a more even keel.
I see my therapist tomorrow about a mood stabilizer which should also help with the mood stability.
I am thrilled hubby is coming home tonight. It won’t be until late but at least he will be curled up beside me when I am in bed.
I’ve been talking to my BFF about ADHD and wanting to work in the future. I really can only work from home currently but anything to help bring in the money again will be good. I hope I can avoid the phone sex but I think that I would do about anything if I could focus on it for more than 5-15 mins. I’ll talk to my therapist about it all though.
Really looking forward to tomorrow and maybe getting something else straightened out with my bipolarity.
I didn’t think I would be able to sleep last night without my big teddy bear but I managed to fall asleep after 2 hours or so. Luckily they have Cosmos on Netflix and I find it to be very relaxing to listen to or watch as I am trying to sleep.
Ms Ren my little yorkie cuddled up on the bed with me and when I woke up she had managed to take over 3/4 of the bed so it was just like having hubby there. lol.
Today I am really feeling the fact that he is in another town though. I get hugged multiple times a day, followed by snuggles in the evening. It makes me feel weird to not be touched. I don’t like it when anyone but him steps into my bubble, but my bubble feels so empty.
My mood is ok, like I’ve said I’ll take ok over being depressed.
I’m trying to look forward to things like getting on a mood stabilizer and also the big thing of the house.
Not sure if I told you about it yesterday but I found out it is going to be another week before we hear about our closing date, color me disappointed. Still normally all this stuff would knock me on my ass and leave me stuck in bed sleeping and crying and I’m up and watching some TV trying to figure out something to do with my day.
Can’t wait until we get into the house and I have access to all my stuff. Finding things to do will be easier then.
One more night and day to go to snuggles.. whew..
Today it was snowing and our car is not that great in that kind of weather so hubby decided to work from home. I was thrilled he was here. Then around 1:00pm hubby found out that he had a flight out to Denver and had to leave by 5pm. Needless to say he is fairly close to landing in another city and I have to sleep alone for the next two nights while he is on his business trip.
I can’t believe how unprofessional his business was that they didn’t bother to call him his entire week off to see he was available to travel, they did it all by email and he didn’t find out until a few hours before his flight yet the other people knew because they were at work. I call bullshit.
I’m not happy but really he had no choice if he wants to stay in good standing with work.
I don’t have to like it though! FUCK THEM!
Today was uneventful. I woke up slightly pissy but decided to get out of bed and face the day. It’s turned out to be ok. Yesterday I thought that I was starting to slide down hill again but today like I said, I’m OK. Being ok is a lot better than a lot of other alternatives.
I’ve checked my email a 100 times or more waiting for our closing email. I am supposed to hear something this week. I hope that they do it early like Monday or Tuesday. Waiting the whole week is gonna give me acid stomach. I know I shouldn’t be stressed cause it is out of my control but I can’t help but be anxious. It’s going to be exciting to know we have 45 days til closing and every day makes that time longer.
My mom and I talked today, she is coming to visit in July and I think that she is staying a month. That should be interesting. Interesting as in the fortune, may you live in interesting times. If I can get some weed for it, then it will be easy cause I’l.l just keep her stoned and happy lol. Cross your fingers that I can get a deal before then.
For some reason I just started having a little anxiety. Too much stress I guess.. Must breathe.
Today we went out to the house and the cabinets were up! It’s really starting to look like a house. However it seems like they are sitting on their asses when they should be working. We should have had a move in date of Feb 10th. Really there was no reason is couldn’t happen except the exceptional amount of time that the house sat there with no one doing anything. I hate fucking waiting.
As you can see I am a little annoyed. Checking my email every hour like a crazy person waiting to hear from the company that it is 45 days until our closing date and hearing nothing is just pissing me off at this point. I want to be in my house dammit. It’s been almost half a fucking year I have been living with my mother in law and it is going to be over that when we finally do move into the house.
I swear I am gonna turn into a hermit for the first few months and just relish the moments I am having in my house.
Til now I guess I will just go insane waiting. Can you go crazy from being impatient? Guess we’ll find out.
Today is the first day that my husband and I have had alone since the last time we went to a hotel. I’m bored but happy. I’m glad to have the house to ourselves and be able to watch whatever I want, yet there really is nothing to do since all our stuff is in storage.
Today hubby said he thought I might have ADHD because I am unable to sit and do anything for more than 10-15 mins at a time. Maybe he is on to something. I’ll talk to my psychiatrist about it when I see her Thursday for a med update. I am sure she is going to find the mood stabilizer to be the more important of things right now anyhow.
I actually am looking forward to going back on a mood stabilizer now that the Latuda seems to be working better. I hope it stays that way. Meds and me have a weird way of interacting.
Anyhow that was my day, not really that much to write about.
A Bipolars Reality 