sick

Why I Dislike Children

Most of the time honestly it’s the parenting. The parents allow the children to run all over the place and just do whatever they like. It’s not true for all kids of course but it seems to be a growing trend. If I behaved the way the kids do nowadays I would have gotten my ass whooped. Kids aren’t afraid of consequences for their bad behaviour now.

Another reason I donlt like children is they are walking talking bundles of ick. Carrying around multiple illnesses just waiting to pass it on to the next person. My immune system is shitty since I am not exposed to most things most people are. That’s what happens when you don’t socialize with the public very often. Yet every single bug my nieces and nephews picks up ends up here at home since my MIL watches them every day.

Right now it is a 24 hour bug that has everyone spewing fluids from both ends and just generally having the worse heartburn you’ve ever had. My MIL was up all night with it and today I just feel like I am on the edge of it. I have the heartburn from hell and what feels like a giant air bubble filling my insides but luckily everything has remained inside.so far. If it is going to get worse I hope that it does it sooner rather than later. Spending the day in bed just waiting for something to happen sucks.

I know it’s not a hangover because I sobered up before bed and drank a ton of water, so now I just have to wait and see what happens. I swear I spend my whole life waiting for everything, how mundane.

Anyhow that is just some reasons I dislike children. I’m super glad I have dogs, even if they do chew my pillows and piss on the floor.

In Our Hotel Room

We’ve been in the hotel room for a few hours after a lunch of indian food, which I normally love but has allowed me to spend more time in the washroom of our hotel room then in the actual room!

You’d think it would be romantic but instead I am feeling troubled and just putting on a happy face so that hubby doesnt think that I am not enjoying our time together. Part of it is my sore throat, makes it hard to talk for any amount of time. The other part is well honestly I have no flipping clue and hope to figure it out fast as we only have 2 nights together and I do so love spending time with hubby.

We are supposed to go to dinner tomorrow night at the place we first had our wedding dinner, I am hoping I dont chicken out about it. I’ve been known to do that from time to time.

I just hope that we can find something to do together.  We enjoy every single day together why should celebrating be so damn hard. Honestly sometimes I hate my brain.

House stuff

I’m still sick off my butt so tonight you can see some pictures of the amount of work that has been done this week on my house. Enjoy!

Still Up But Down

Sick sucks. My mood is good. I am in the mental arena of being able to do anything pretty much. This cold has me laid out like well I can’t think of anything creative. Just sick as hell and unable to do anything. Can’t even think. My nose is so plugged I can barely breathe and my throat is so sore swallowing totally sucks.

A good thing that happened is that we now have part of the garage and a basement framing done. It’s awesome! Finally seeing some work done to the house has risen my spirits. I’m excited again. That is nice.

Anyhow gonna go back to bed and rest some more. I want to feel well enough to go the lot on Friday!

Feeling Like Hell

I’m sick, I have a cold, I have a Uti and frankly I am way too tired to post.

Therapy was good.

Day with MIL was good.

I’ll post picture of the hole soon, promise.

Night night.

UTI and More Hole Action

Today I started peeing blood and it felt like razor blades we being dragged through. Y urethra. I fricken hate these things, makes me want to give up sex altogether. I won’t but as I take these antibiotics,

So cold + uti… No fun.

My work day went well. I’d forgotten just how much I enjoy being bossy. Especially about mke release.

Now on to some good news. Our hole now has footings. I’ll take picture this weekend. I was thrilled was just going to look at the hole but there was stuff going on there, so woot.

The last and bee test news. I had a genetic test done for breast and colon cancer and it cme back negative. In fact there is only a 13% chance of me getting cancer. SO th ittl bad thing going on can suck it!!! ha!

Tomorro is the therapists, I’ll he good stuff to talk about that isn’t past crap.

More Whatifs

I’m seriously getting tired of my mood being all over the place. I’m not ready to give up on the Latuda yet but I’m not feeling hopeful. I am questioning everything.

My husbands and my engagement was unromantic and I basically feel like he was pushed into asking me to marry him. Why do I feel that way? Basically I said you ask me to marry you or I’m asking you. He chose to ask me. We were butt ass naked in bed and well I was probably manic and it’s the only thing I regret about our marriage.

I asked him today if he thought he would still have asked me at some point if I hadn’t of brought it up. He said he would have but I honestly think he might have gotten the fuck out after a couple of years of my crazy. I guess I’ll never really know.

I’m forever grateful for him though and I’m so glad that we are so happily married. Now I wish that he didn’t have to put up with me being so fucking crazy. I wish I didn’t have to put up with me being so fucking crazy. Life with would be just fucking grand without it.

I just found out my cousin killed himself. My whole family is a mess…. Sigh

Not Feeling Great

After my hair salon appointment on Thursday I wasn’t feeling great. Emotionally I was good but physically I was having some issues. Yesterday I was feeling a lot of pain and didn’t sleep very well. Today it is even worse 😦 I am a hey and nauseated and a little light headed. Definitely not fun.

Even though I felt bad we went out and went to a state park and walked in the woods, fed fish and geese, I took some no pictures I’ll put them up soon. We then headed over to the lot of model home and spent some time there daydreaming about decor and how nice having our home will be.

It really started to take a turn later in the afternoon, I did manage to go to lunch but now I feel horrible, HORRIBLE!

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night after barely sleeping an hour or so, I had a horrible anxiety attack about having a heart attack. My chest muscles are so as are the ones in my back from when I had my back cracked and I’ve been exercising more then usual. I know it’s not really going to happen but I really tend to worry about death, a lot.

The future looks positive, we are going to have a home! We are still madly in love. I am married to my best friend. So when I don’t worry messing things up I worry about dying and not seeing my dreams come true. My brain really pisses me off.

I’m not surprised that I got I’ll, I’ve been exposed to more people in the last couple of months then I have in the last four years. Bugs happen.

Stomach Bug

Last night I ended up puking my guts out. Maybe too much info but needless to say my physical feelings overtook my emotional ones quickly.

I’ve spent the entire day mostly just trying to chill out and keep what little food i put into me down. I didn’t have time to stress about signing the contract tomorrow and I’m not gonna do it now either.

My mom in law has fricken shingles. I hope she doesn’t pass that shit over to me because that would suck big hairy nutsacks.

I’m going to head to bed. Sorry I’m not writing a deeply in-depth post but i just need some sleep.

Sick and Sad

I’m woke up crying and then spent the day in physical pain and stomach rolling illness. Is this because if the medication?

There are some theories that even being on the pills for a few days and quitting can make you ill, that sure does seem to be the case. Either way I am not much up to writing.

I did step out and got some hobby shit to do, hook rugs, paints, puzzles just things to keep my brain active on something besides itself.

I have no idea if they will help or if I will even attempt to do them. I guess we shall see. For now I am going to try and get some sleep so I can stop feeling like someone ran me over with an 18 wheeler.