Happy Valentines Day

Today has been a most excellent day. My mood has been up and hubby was really romantic.

I recieved a beautiful ring along with breakfast in bed this morning. Then a few hour cuddle while we watched one of my favorite animes. Later we came downstairs and watched a zombie movie and then went shopping for appliances at Best Buy and grabbed some drive thru. After eating we went back upstairs and kept cuddling while we watched yet another anime. I even got a backrub.

We had planned on not celebrating so it was all a very nice surprise.

I hope you all had great days.

I think the pristiq might actually be helping.

I did find out that my MIL had my twitter account opened on her ipad. I hope that she doesn’t read my blog because I love her and I have bitched quite a bit about her on here to save therapy money.

I’m not going to worry about it for now, I am just going to enjoy the rest of my night with my hubby.

Mood Is Up A Little

My mood has picked up some. Enough that I was able to go out and see the house and enjoy it. It’s pretty much done and it was glorious to be able to lay on the carpeted floors and see all the shinies everywhere.

I’m feeling a little weird. I think it is because of a caffinated tylenol I took. I gave up caffiene several months ago and now it seems I am very sensitive to it. Maybe it is because of the pristiq, who knows.

I’m not gonna give it up because I am feeling weird. I am mildly hopeful that it is going to help me.

Anyhow off to watch some T.V. with hubby..

So Much Time Alone

Being alone really doesn’t give me a true gauge of my feelings. Being alone makes me feel sad. Being alone doesn’t allow me to talk to anyone.

I’m on day two of the pristiq I am still depressed as far as I can tell. I don’t expect anything to happen yet. I don’t think it is making things worse.

My psychiatrist says I am very sensitive to medications so usually if something bad is going to happen then it will happen rather quickly. The good also usually happens sooner rather then later as well. This is both a pain and a good thing I suppose.

Tonight I am alone longer then usual as hubby had to go to a work dinner. It seems we are spending less and less time together these days. It makes me sad and it makes me worry. He isn’t treating me any differently but I can’t help that my mind always looks for the worse in everything. I’m very black and white..

hopefully it is just the depression and it will pass. Fingers crossed for the pristiq.

 

A Little Better Today

I started my new med and I am in a little better mood today. I don’t think that one has to do anything with the other but I at least feel ok after taking the pills, not having too many adverse side-effects.

I’m starting to get a little antsy about being alone here. I want to be able to get out but hubby is working late today and I am not going to be able to get out today. In fact it looks like I won’t get out of here until Friday.

Ugh!

They apparently put the carpet in so they really only have the finishings to do in the house, 15 days until move in.

Least I get to go shopping for appliances this week, I do like shopping, it always gives me a wonderful high. It’s a trigger for hypo-mania. I don’t mind that at all.

Almost Didn’t Post

Almost forgot to post. How can someone who has been posting every day forget?

My brain is so filled with depression and stress that I am not thinking clearly.  I am worried about everything for the house going smoothly. 16 more days to go and I’ll be in my own home but my mind can’t help but think of all the things that could go wrong before then.

I went to my shrink today and she’s decided to add pristiq to my other meds, apparently it works really well with latuda so hopefully I will start to see a change for the better soon.

Today I ended up going back to bed and sleeping most of my day away, all I can hope for is to be more up tomorrow then today. I know it could get worse but I hope it doesn’t.

 

Why Depression, Why?

I awoke feeling sad and barely able to move. I managed to get out of bed but I’m fighting every single minute to not go back there and go to sleep.

I want to cry, I think I would if I had the energy to do it. I think I’ll take myself up on that nap.

Setting The Mood

Today I woke up anxious, sad and very angry.  Like punch someone in the face angry. I realised I was having a manic day after my one good mood day. Frustrating to say the least. I screamed and cried and fought the urge to hit someone and eventually it passed.  I tried to think of more positive things to bring myself to a better mood. It worked today anyhow.

At least until tonight when I was trying to watch the walking dead. The mood is set, the surround sound on and the lights turned off. You have to watch it wtihout questioning, you just let yourself sink into the show and lose it. I was doing just that when MIL starts questioning everything. It really took me out of the mood and ruined the rest of the show for me and as you know, it was an emotional night if you are watching.

2 weeks, 4 days to go….

Almost Forgot

It’s been a very busy day and I almost forgot to take my pills and do my blog for the day. I think I would have been angry at myself had that happened.

Today I was in a good mood. I spent a lot of time out of the house. We had lunch and went shopping for some furniture for the house. I gotta admit I loved the thrill of shopping period, let alone knowing how we were decorating the houes early.

We also took mom in law shopping for a new computer. That will either make things easier cause this one will be able to play games or harder because she will want to spend more time on it. We are only here for less 2 weeks and 5 more days then we will be in our own home and I’ll be able to control everything lol.

Other than those things not much else happened. Tomorrow we may do some more shopping for the house. I hope so, it’s really enjoyable and it makes everything feel much more real.

At Home Again

The drive home was good, nothing special happened and we made it home safe and sound. I had a good day and my mood was good.

I am however exhausted and can’t find my laptop wifi thingy to really be able to write on my blog so I am gonna keep it short.

Once again, loved seeing my BFF it made the whole trip worth it. She felt so good to hug. This is what family (good family) feels.

Day 3 In Dallas

I got to see my BFF again and it was absolutely wonderful to be able to hug her and tell her I love her. I can’t wait to see her again, it’s the only thing that made this trip worth it to be perfectly honest.

I’m highly stressed right now about travelling home. I can’t wait to leave in the morning but the traffic here is frightening. Plus there may be snow and ice when we hit Nebraska again. That makes my tummy hurt big time.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be writing this saying I got home safe and sound. For now I am going to try and relax and mentally prepare for the trip home and being able to sleep tonight.

I did go out to dinner tonight so I did accomplish something at least…